Saturday, February 23, 2008

Love and Respect

Last weekend, as part of the announcements, our church showed a promo for the book/study, "Love and Respect." Now, I must confess to you that I bought the book MONTHS ago, but I only got a few pages in and never picked it back up. I'm not sure why, because it got rave reviews and I knew I'd learn something important that God wanted to teach me. Perhaps time slipped away from me. Whatever the reason, I often glanced at it sitting on the bookshelf and, for whatever reason, just chose not to pick it up again.

So when I saw the promo video last weekend, I felt in my spirit that it was something Jerry and I needed to do. It really resonated with me.

The class started tonight, and without (much) prompting, Jerry agreed to join this 8 week study with me.

I can tell you, without a doubt, that this class is not really going to be about marriage. I mean, it is, but it's not. It is about man. And it is about his wife. It is about how they think, live, and behave. And for me, it's going to be about the ways in which I need to change! NOTICE I did NOT say the ways he needs to change. But allowing God to change me and being willing to do the hard work that goes with it! Perhaps that's why I never picked the book up again...ha!

The premise of the book goes something like this: Without respect, he doesn't show her love. And without love, she doesn't show him respect. And so the cycle goes...and goes....and goes. Have you ever really thought about the fact that the bible commands, not suggests, that married couples are to do as follows: "Husbands, love your wives. And wives respect your husbands." Have you ever really thought about why?

Well, what we learned tonight is that men and women see life very differently. Women need love like they need air to breathe. And men need respect like they need air to breathe.

Aretha didn't really know what she was talking about when she sang "R.E.S.P.E.C.T." But the man who wrote it did!!!

I will post occasionally about what I'm learning, and I'd love to hear from you if you've read the book or taken the class. Have a great rest of your weekend!


The Kempiak Party of Five... said...

Jon and I LOVED that book and use it often to counsel other couples. Our homegroup/Bible study went though the book and videos last year. "Unconditional respect" was such a new concept for me, yet "unconditional love" wasn't and that's what I expected/desired.

It's so amazing how the Bible says, "However, each one of you also must LOVE his wife as he LOVES himself, and the wife MUST RESPECT her husband" (Ephesians :33). Us ladies often times think LOVE is the answer for our husbands when it isn't.

So cool! You, Happi will grow so much in this book. I have others to suggest if you ever want one (for example: War of Words by Paul Tripp...a great author as well as his brother).


Tonya said...

I've taken the class too and it is great! I would love to take it again if time allowed. But I want to take the Entrusted with a Child's Heart again first :)

Tonya said...

I have the book Shepherding a Child's Heart and I went through it with my playgroup but would love to get my hubby's input on it! He has read a few chapters out of it. That is so funny you asked that because I just looked at that book on my book shelf and thought to myself I should re-read that!

And about your losing 2 teeth that is so crazy my 1st grader just lost her first tooth 10 days before her 7th birthday, and isn't your son in Kindergarten! Funny how different kids can be. I'm curious to see when my 2nd child loses his first tooth. He is in kindergarten this year like Cody but he won't be 6 until July. Sorry to ramble...

chrissy said...

Haven't read or done the class on this book, but just by reading what was written here: It goes to show that at some point someone's gotta give and start the cycle right!! We as a marriage can't point the finger at what "he" needs to do, someone has to "give in" and quit fighting it and start the ball in a different direction!! I pray you find what it is you seek in this study and that you also find so much more, positive and use it.

MorningSong said...

Our church has this class and hubby and I were going to join but his schedule is so crazy! I hear awesome things about it and from your post it makes me wish we could have joined this semester! Such a deadly cycle! Wow! Keep us posted on your class! (I do the same thing - buy a book and put it down. Then 2 years later I am STILL reading that book. Glad you have a class to prod you along!)