On the Road Again...

I've always had this dream of selling off everything we own...the house, our possessions and belongings...and packing up only what we needed and piling into an RV. In it, we would tour the country and make our living together as a family entertaining people and sharing the gospel wherever we went. Jerry with his guitar, me at the piano, Cody with his violin and Caden with his little egg shakers (he appears to have some talent at percussion). Of course, we'd ALL sing!

Nobody except my husband knows that I've always wanted to do this, but now you all do...

I think the thing that appeals to me most about this little pipe dream of mine is just the sheer simplicity that might come from being rid of all the things that fight for our time. Not the least of which are the jobs which are a total necessity when you have a mortgage, utility bills, and endless OTHER bills that need tending to each month. Not that having a job is all bad, mind you. My goodness. So many people are out of work...so many close to us...so I don't take it lightly that we are both gainfully employed and able to make ends meet. (Thank you, God. It is by Your grace alone!)

But the mortgage. The bills. The demands. They are never ending and often feel like a millstone around the neck. Sometimes I wonder if God can use us the way He wants to when we are so busy and so bound by these types of things.

Yes, on the road we'd be busy and we'd have a schedule to keep. I have no idea how we'd make ends meet. Perhaps we would be considered singing missionaries.

But in the RV? I imagine us singing and laughing. Loving and learning. Taking it all in and seeing the glory of God everywhere. Just...well, being together. As a family.

These three people who live with me are most precious to me. I love spending time with them. We enjoy one another so much. Our favorite place is to be wherever the others are. (And yes, in case you were wondering, I am realistic. I'm sure we'd climb the walls eventually and have times we'd pull our hair out and need our personal space.) But to travel the country! I imagine us making pit stops at the Grand Canyon, making our way up Route 66. Taking in the breathtaking views of Niagra Falls and maybe visiting Cape Cod. Seeing Colorado and Tennessee in the autumn when the leaves are showing off their brilliant colors. It just sounds so wonderful.

Oh I know. I know! It's only a dream.

But I wonder sometimes...would it be...possible?

What are You Doing with Your Dash?

I spent the day in Wisconsin with my friend Charity and her family as we celebrated her brother Dave's life.  This has been an incredibly difficult time for their family.  My heart grieves for them all:  Dave's mom and dad who now have to bury their son, Dave's wife who loses her husband, Dave's children who have lost their dad, Dave's siblings who have lost their brother...

There were some young children there who obviously loved their Uncle Dave as well.  Several of them clung to their moms and dads and just cried their little hearts out.  There was also military there and they did the gun salute, played taps and presented his wife with the American flag since Dave served faithfully in the military.  That always gets me. It's so touching.

When we first got there and we walked in to the sanctuary, there were large screens with images of Dave and his family set to music.  So many memories.  The music and the message were so meaningful.  Charity sang a song she wrote for Dave 6 months ago, and her brother-in-law sang a moving rendition of "Come to Jesus."  Jerry and I had the great blessing of singing "The Old Rugged Cross" today as well.  It truly was a beautiful, God-honoring service.

The pastor spoke about our lives and how each of us has been given, by God, a beginning and an ending date to our lives.  It's already decided.  When you look at somebody's "dates" after they pass, there's a dash in between those two dates and years.  He asked the question:  "What are you doing with your dash?  At the end of your life, what will be said about the way you lived in between?"  I found that to be very thought-provoking, to say the least.  It gets down to the legacy we leave behind...the way we want to be remembered, the difference we made, the way we honored and glorified our God.

And so, as I turn out the light tonight, I'll ask you the same question:  "What are you doing with your dash?"

What do you want said of you at your Going Home Celebration?  

May each of us know and pursue the vision God has for us while we are living here on this earth.  We all have a purpose.  May we all prayerfully find it and live it out.  Life is but a breath. 

I was Locked Out!

First of all, let me just say that I appreciate all your kind comments about our abode.  We are proud of the progress we've made over the last four years, and it was sweet to hear all of your encouraging words.  (Since the last picture, the whole house is painted and just needs a second coat...which hubby started yesterday.  I'll post a new pic soon!)  Anyway, thank you.  You all are just great!

Secondly, I received a notification in my email yesterday that said my blog was locked and I could not publish anything.  Apparently the blog "robots" (yes, that's what they're called) detected something in my blog that they didn't like.  Today, it's obviously unlocked and I received a note that said they had mistakenly identified my blog (and many others) as being problematic and that they were sorry for any inconvenience.  

I have to say that the thought of not being able to post yesterday was so uncomfortable for me. Not that I had anything to say....it's just that this has become an outlet for me in a way that I guess I didn't realize.  I knew I enjoyed blogging, of course, but I didn't realize how therapeutic it is.  Maybe that sounds strange to some of you...or, maybe not.

I realized this has truly become an online journal for me....which is exactly why I started writing here in the first place.  I talk about everything and anything that's on my heart at the time.  I like to use this forum to encourage others.  I talk about spiritual matters, things the Lord is teaching me, and what I'm learning.  I put prayer requests here so fellow Believers will join me in lifting up our brothers and sisters.  I love recording funny things my kids say and do because my memory will fail me at some point, but it's all in black and white here.  Like my home, it's become a little "virtual house" where my thoughts and memories are stored so I'll remember them later. I've never been a good journalist (on paper).  In the past, I'd buy these beautiful little books to write my deepest thoughts in, but after a week or so of writing, it would lie dormant for an indefinite amount of time.   

This blog is also a great way to stay in touch with people I wouldn't normally get to "talk to" as often as I'd like.  My mom even commented to my older sister and I that even she wouldn't know half of what's going on in our lives if not for our blogs!

And so, my dear blogging friends, I would like to say thanks for being a part of my little blogging world and letting me become a part of yours.  I've met and reunited with some truly wonderful people here, and I'm very grateful.  

I'm going home to see my family this weekend, so I'll be on hiatus for a bit.  But you can bet I'll see you soon.  I can't stay away long.  : )

Someday we'll find it...the Rainbow Connection...

Last night, as I was teaching a lesson, I turned the page of one of the piano books my student uses and the next song happened to be "The Rainbow Connection." She had never heard that song before, much to my dismay (don't kids watch the Muppets anymore?), and I said, "Well move over, honey! Allow me to play it for you!" As my fingers played the keys, I was taken back to a time when I was this little girl's age. I remembered my former piano teacher and I singing this sweet song together with Kermit the Frog, on a stage where I had stood many times. I remembered seeing Nanny and Poppop out there in the audience, smiling and urging me on. I remembered how much I loved the owner of the club and their shirley temples with extra cherries. I even remembered the french bread rolls and the way I used to tear them in half and only eat the insides. I'm telling you, by the time I got to the end of playing the song, I had tears in my eyes! Jerry urged me to jump out of the way back machine, for goodness sake. I really have no idea what my poor student thought of my bizarre emotional tie to the song, but one thing's for certain: she'll never forget that her teacher was crying about a sappy song from the "Muppet Movie." I told her dad that they need to rent that movie and watch it!!! C'mon people, it's a classic!

In other news, before we put the boys to bed tonight, Cody reached up for me as I was hugging him, pulled me close, looked into my eyes and very seriously said: "Mom, I promise. Even when I'm old, I'll never forget you."

I responded, "Cody, when I'm old, I will probably forget you. Because I seem to be taking after my sweet grandmother. And God knows, the woman couldn't remember anything."

But I'll bet you she could have remembered at least some of the lyrics to "The Rainbow Connection."

It's Like Moving, Only Worse

We've changed internet carriers.  

I sent out an email to friends and family letting them know that we were changing, just in case something unforseen happen and we appeared to fall off the face of the information superhighway.  

One friend responded the following way:  "I hope all goes well.  It's like moving.  Only WORSE."  

It's so true!  I agonized over the decision: Should we change?  What if it's not fast?  Will we lose all our emails?  Will we lose all our contacts?  How do we switch our address book?  How does this ALL WORK?  And me, being the tech-savvy chick that I am (NOT), was feeling a bit befuddled by all the interwebby changing thingees.  (See, I am OH so savvy.)

You don't realize, until you're in the midst of a change like this, how dependent you are on your friendly neighborhood internet carrier.  I'm not so sure that's a good thing!

The good news is that we have moved successfully over to our new carrier.  And I am breathing easier.  We have thirty days to make the switch, and I am very happy thus far with the ease at how it has all worked.

Just thought I'd share.  It is like moving.  Without all the furniture, of course. 

Need to Piggyback on What She Said

So Lori at Glass Half Full must have read my mind today, because she said exactly what I have been feeling. When will the madness end? Why must we choose between gas in our vehicles or food on the table? It's getting harder and harder to have BOTH!

I have to say that we have learned trust and contentment in recent months more than we have at any other point in our lives. And the thing is, God always provides. It's in the smallest thing sometimes, but nonetheless, it's like a little kiss from God, a message from Him that reminds me, "I love you, child. You are mine and I'll take care of you!" He is truly our Provider.

And so, for now, we trudge on. We keep working hard, putting one foot in front of the other and doing "the next right thing." (Thanks, Papa, for those awesome words.) We work to keep our priorities in check, continue to evaluate "need" versus "want," and we pray for His provision. Most of all, we are learning to be content, whatever the circumstances.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:12

He is faithful, my friends. I can attest to that. He has always been faithful.

And that's worth more to me than a full tank of gas or a fridge full of food!

10 Random Thoughts

1. I heart American Idol. It's an addiction, I must admit. Last night's show was great...so many strong performances (but please, America, say good bye to Ramiele)!

2. I hardly slept last night because Caden was up off and on for no apparent reason. He wasn't just waking up and whimpering, he was downright screaming. It took an hour to calm him at one point. Today he's perfectly fine. I, on the other hand, am sleep-deprived.

3. I'm sick of the economy. I'm tired of gas prices being this high. I go to four different stores to buy things because I shop where it's the cheapest. I'm tired of doing that too.

4. I have a women's retreat in a little over one week that I'm leading worship for and I don't quite feel prepared. I took a little too much of a "break" during our spring (a.k.a. winter) break.

5. I desperately needed that break.

6. My little sis is visiting my family back home because she is on break, however, I am not, so I don't get to see her.

7. I've noticed that the new style for women's clothing these days is a bit maternal in nature. I recently bought a shirt that kinda looks like that, and I think people may be wondering if I'm pregnant.

8. I'm not.

9. Here's my pic for Wordless Wednesday, because it is, after all, Wednesday.

10. I took a meal to a friend last night that recently had a baby. She has a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 22 month old and 2 week old. And she plans on homeschooling. I think she's brave.

The chicken pot pie I made her family slid around in the back of my van (I brought it in the afternoon so they could bake it when they were ready to eat), and it didn't look like much of a pie when I got it there. I'm thinking she's probably too tired to care.

I Agree with Steph

Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing has a very thought provoking post on her Chicago Moms blog and as I read it, the same thoughts ran through my mind. What causes us to be in such a hurry? Would it be such a bad thing for us to slow down (or maybe even plan ahead) so that we're not constantly in a state of panic and in such a huge hurry to get wherever it is we're needing to go?

A couple of tragic events happened within our own church body just this past week that really caused me to stop, hug my children extra tight, and remember that life is so fleeting. In one case, a fellow mom and friend lost her nephew who was only two months old. The baby was at daycare napping, and when one of the workers went in to check on him, he wasn't breathing and could not be revived. In another case, a friend's in-laws came to visit their family this past week and on their way home were in a horrible car accident that killed her father-in-law. They had come to town to meet my friend's new baby.

We don't understand why these things happen, and yet for me, they serve as a constant reminder that life is so fleeting, so short...a mere breath.

I need not remind you what tomorrow is. As the years have passed since 9/11, maybe we've forgotten. Perhaps we've taken our own lives for granted. Every day is truly a gift.

How will you choose to live it?

My boys are forever keeping me entertained (and I mean all THREE of them). Sometimes the things they do and say are so funny that I laugh until I cry. And sometimes the things they say simply DO make me cry. Take today, for example. Actually, let me back up. We've been living here in our town for almost three years, and every summer there's a fresh vegetable stand on the corner of a busy intersection near our home. Last year was the first time we'd actually stopped to pick out some fresh produce and support the local farmer. Everything we got from there was delicious and so we kept returning. But I must say that I haven't always been impressed with the demeanor of those working. They're not incredibly friendly, but I probably wouldn't be either if I sat baking in the heat every day. One day, Cody and I hopped in the car to do our usual jaunt to pick out corn and such, and it was toward the end of the season, so there were pumpkins, gourds, and other fun things that would intrigue any kid. Or adult for that matter. And there was much rejoicing and touching and excitment about the fresh produce. A couple of things fell to the ground, and as Cody tried to put the items back in their bins, a very stern looking face and voice met my little then four year-old, and let's just say that it's been a year and he still remembers her reaction.

Fast forward to today. We were driving by that corner where there is no longer a produce stand. We're not sure if they have stopped selling their wares on this particular corner or if they're just not at all...perhaps they'll set up later in the season. However, upon seeing their absence once again, Cody said, "Mama, where is the fresh produce stand? Why aren't they open yet?" I was driving and there was an accident up ahead, so I was slightly distracted and kind of shrugged his question off with a "Hmf, uh, not sure" kind of a reply.

There were several moments of silence, and my sensitive little one said, "Maybe it's because of me. Maybe they closed down the stand because of me."

I turned around to see these two sad little eyes and I literally stopped the car, turned around, grabbed his hand, and said, "Honey, no. No way. You didn't cause that stand to close. If anything, it closed because they weren't always as nice as they should have been to their customers. They should have been thrilled to have such an excited little boy looking at their vegetables! You did nothing wrong, and I don't want you to worry one more second about this! It was not your fault!"

Relief swept over his face and I could see him lighten a little. To think that he's been thinking that all this time.

I share this story for a couple reasons. First, I know most of the people who read this blog are parents of young children. Second, I know most of us do things in our vehicles while we're with our kids that don't always allow for much conversation (the Lord has really convicted me of this through my reading of Peanut Butter and Jelly Boat's recent posts... thank you Sheryl!). For instance, we may be talking on our cell phone, listening to music, or just only half listening to the chatter going on behind us. I had everything off in the van today because there was an accident up ahead and I wanted to concentrate on what was going on. This moment with Cody was significant because as we sat there, in slow traffic, in the silence, a door was opened and my little man shared something that had obviously been on his heart and in his mind for a while now. And I was able to make it better...to share a burden, to lighten his load. And I thought, I really need to turn everything off and be THERE. Yes, I'm always here. But I'm not always THERE. And today, I was reminded that I need to be in the moment. Ready for the next question. PRESENT. AVAILABLE. HERE.