Bittersweet.

As the show draws to a close tomorrow, I find myself having mixed emotions.  I am, on one hand, looking forward to having my weekends back and resuming some normalcy around here. On the other hand, I have a feeling the orchestra will be seeing some tears while I conduct some of these musical numbers for the last time tomorrow.  I am so incredibly proud of these kids and all they've brought to this show.  They've poured so much time, effort, energy and love into this production and they've truly made it a great experience for me.  

I have the privilege of leading the kids in warm-ups before the show, and yes, occasionally I do the traditional vocal warm-up or two, but mostly, I just have them grab hands and we sing a worship song together.  Last night I let them choose, and in harmony, we sang "Amazing Grace." By far one of my favorite moments yet.  As we knelt and prayed, one of the little girls put her head on my shoulder, looked up into my eyes and whispered, "I love you."

I'm definitely feeling sentimental today.

I hope I remember the kleenex.

Picasso

I'm Blessed.

I am blessed with amazing friends, family,and neighbors.  If you are one of the sweet ones who has come to see the show, THANK YOU!  Your support and encouragement have meant so much to me.  

My mom and dad came into town to see the show and it was wonderful to see them.  They really enjoyed it, and I loved having them in the audience.  (Thanks, you guys! I love you!)  

A special thank you to Ruth, Glynda, Barbie (and girls!), Tom, Lori, Dick, Debbie, Julie, Terri, all those yet to come and any I've forgotten to mention here.  You all are the best!  Thanks so much for supporting this show.

I've been overwhelmed by the acts of kindness on the part of my husband and boys.  On Thursday morning (the day of our first "official" shows), I woke up to the house being plastered with good wishes for me.  Just look at this artwork:

I am indeed blessed.  Thanks, everyone.  Your kindness and love have overwhelmed me.  

The Music Never Dies

Driving in the car.  Dreaming.  Cooking.  Cleaning.  Breathing.

I have "The Sound of Music" score streaming in my head 24/7.  It's like a CD that has been put on "continuous" and won't stop. Not that I mind.  I've grown quite fond of the music from the show, but I suppose that's what happens when you've been living it for six weeks straight.  

If you want to know what it's like to be inside my head, this should give you a really good idea! 

Scary, I know.

The show is going great.  We opened to two packed houses of school kids yesterday.  We did a modified version of the show to keep it at 90 minutes, and I was amazed at how well these kids adapted to it.  They never had a rehearsal to run the show as it would be done on school days. Tonight is the real deal with our entire orchestra and a (hopefully) packed house.  

Conducting the orchestra has been such a great experience for me, and it's a real blessing to work with all of the fine musicians God has brought our way.  The kids have really impressed me...to learn a show of this magnitude in such a short time is nothing short of amazing.  

Thanks for walking with me through this journey.  I hope I haven't bored you with all my stories about the hills and the goat herds.  : )  If you're coming to see the show, I'd like to say a big thank you on behalf of the cast and directing team.  Your support means to much!  Please make sure you stop by the "pit" at the front of the stage and say hello.  I'll be there waiting to greet you!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Happiness Is...

• Doing what I love. We are counting down to the show's opening on Thursday (a big thank you to those of you who bought tickets!!), and I am so excited to see it all put together. I have no idea what the set or costumes look like, but I've heard they are AMAZING. I am really, REALLY tired lately, but in a happy, fulfilled way. I have been doing musical theatre my whole life, either on the stage or as a director, and It's always been a very rewarding experience. I especially love this theatre company because they are Christian-based, and so it is a ministry opportunity as well as a wonderful way to practice my craft. I've truly got the best of both worlds.
• The dozen pink and red roses from my hubby that are sitting on my desk looking goregous. But most importantly, his support and love even though he's seen little of me lately.
• The gift of my children and the joy it is to be home with them. We are having such a blast this year. I thank God for all the blessings that have come about because of our decision to homeschool this year. It continues to be such a joy, even on the hard days.
• A warm home, good health, and the constant provision of the Lord. He has amazed us this year with little miracles and the way we've been able to "keep going" regardless of what the bank account says. He is so good. All the time.
• Wonderful friends and family and neighbors who bless us so richly.
• The promises in God's word and the Truth contained within its pages.
• And last, but absolutely NOT least, my Savior, who still has me amazed.

This...yes, this is happiness.

The Great Move of 2009 and Other Random Things You Need to Know

I am in the midst of "crunch time" as we, the directing team of "The Sound of Music," put the finishing touches on the musical. Things are coming along quite nicely and I'm very anxious to see the show on the actual stage where we'll be performing, with costumes, sets, lights, and a 15 piece pit orchestra. Interested in coming? Leave me a comment and I'll get you the information. Tickets are still available! (Sorry for that shameless plug...)

Friday night was rehearsal and I headed off to bed reasonably early. The next morning, somewhere between 7:30 and 8:30 a.m., I had this crazy idea to throw together a pot of chili and some corn bread for the directing team. I had this sudden burst of energy and began buzzing around the house, towel wrapped around my head, eggs in one hand, ground beef in another... running between the bathroom mirror to finish getting ready for rehearsal and the kitchen, while stirring in chili beans and tomatoes. I was a sight. I think Jerry thought I'd lost my mind.

I was greeted at the door by one of our fearless leaders of the show and she asked me if I was pregnant when she learned that I had been whipping up chili at 7:30 in the morning. I told her that would be a definite NO and she followed me into the kitchen so I could plug in the crock pot. While she was grateful for the gesture, I think she thought I was a little nuts. I am glad I didn't tell her about the time I brought the crock pot to the chiropractor. But that's another story for a different day. Moving on...

Rehearsal went great and I came home. Usually, I'm mentally and physically exhausted after these rehearsals, but this particular Saturday, I was full of energy.

At about 6 p.m., I got another crazy idea and approached my husband with, "Honey, I think the boys need their own rooms. We've been talking about it for months, but maybe we should just do it...let's just move them!"

He gave me that "look" that I've grown to love. You know, the one that says, "You're nuts, but I'm going to do this because I love you." Have I mentioned that I am married to one of the greatest guys on earth? I seriously don't know how he puts of up with me...and not only that, he does it with a smile.

In a day and a half, we managed to rearrange every room in the house except the kitchen and my studio. The boys now have their own rooms and Cody's room now doubles as his bedroom and a play room (which we've desperately needed). It sounds weird, but we seem to have more space than we did before by giving each of them their own room. I am very happy with the set-up. Jerry and I both have sore, tired bodies today, but we are both very happy with the outcome.

And now you're caught up.

And I need a nap. Too bad that isn't an option today....

Did I mention I'm about to make a double batch of heart-shaped sugar cookies?

And a Whole Bunch of Blah, Blah, Blah and Something Funny

I have been slacking so badly on this here blog. Frankly, I have no time, people. Between homeschooling my first grader, running a studio, music directing a show and just trying to keep up with life in general, the blog continues to be a low priority. In the quiet of this evening (Jerry's at home group, the boys are asleep), I thought it might be a good time to catch up with you all. Hi! How are you? How's life? I'm so sorry I haven't been visiting or commenting regularly on your blogs. Please forgive me.

I have to say that this week (all two days of it) have been particularly challenging. I don't know if it's because it's February or what, but my boys have been very...um...energetic. It seems to be worse when I'm trying to talk on the phone (sorry, sis), which really is a rare thing these days.

The theme of this week seems to be a serious lack of obedience where my children are concerned. I resorted to some pretty strong discipline tactics today (no, not corporal punishment or anything), and I'm so happy to report tonight that they were very effective. I think I got their attention...finally. Here's the main thing: Whenever I find myself repeating things over and over again, I wonder to myself, "Do they have an ounce of respect for me, any regard for my authority at all?" "Why aren't they obeying me? Can't they hear the frustration in my voice? What part of this are they not understanding???" And then of course, the all familiar, "I'm such a failure. I'm a horrible mother. I'm going to ruin these children. If I had any control over them at all, they'd stop this and obey me!!!"

Please, someone. Can I get an AMEN? Am I the only one feeling this way?

Today, I was on the brink. This morning I knew I was when I was sitting on the couch, just opening my bible and my study at 6:15 a.m. (well before the kids normally get up), and I heard Caden whining in his crib.

I threw my pen down, slammed my hand on my book, looked heavenward with a HUGE sigh and said "NO, Lord. No. Not today!!! No. I need this time. Make him go back to sleep!!!"

The Lord had other plans. Caden wasn't about to go back to sleep and I didn't want him to wake his brother with whom he shares a room.

I tried to continue my study (to no avail) and then realized that what I really needed was a serious attitude adjustment. Or a "check up from the neck up" as my husband calls it.

I left Caden downstairs in front of a mindless cartoon (GASP!) and I went up to our bedroom, fell on my knees and poured all my frustration out. It went something like this: "I can't do this today, Lord. I know You say that with You, all things are possible, but I am not equipped to do this today! I really can't. Send someone who can do this for me, please!"

And the Lord said, "I have."

That was all I needed. I have access to the One who can all day long. And the thing is, He does! Apart from Him, I truly can do no good thing. I cannot be the woman He wants me to be unless I am wholly relying on Him and Him alone. I can't do this job. I'm completely and utterly inadequate...desperate... without Him. He will equip me for this. If I am reaching for Him from the depths, He will throw me a trusty rope!

Maybe that encourages you today. Or maybe it seems like a bunch of babbling. I don't know. I'm just typing tonight...this is what's on my heart.

On a lighter note, Caden and I were sitting down together yesterday reviewing letters and the sounds they make, and we happened to be on the letter "K." Here's a little excerpt from our conversation:

Me: Okay Caden, so here we have a K. Can you make a k-k-k
sound?
C: k, k, k
Me: Very good! Say 'k-k-kite.' (I point to the picture of the
kite.)
C: k-k-kite!!
Me: Very, very good job! Okay, now say 'k-k-kangaroo.' (I point
to the cute little kangaroo.)
C: k-k-kangawoo!
Me: Excellent! Alright, now say 'k-k-key!' (I start pointing to
the picture of a key.)
C: (He points to the picture of a penguin) 'k-k-kenguin!!!'
(hysterics from all three of us)
Cody: CADEN, YOU'RE HILARIOUS!

Thank You, God, for laughter! Thank You, God, for my boys. Thank You, God, for this amazing gift of motherhood. May I never take these two precious ones for granted or this job You've called me to. Keep reminding me that I am not alone, that I can do this and that You will help me. And remind my dear sisters reading today who need to be reminded of that as well. We are Yours, Lord, and our children belong to You. Amen.