The Passage of Time

It never ceases to amaze me. I've been a mom for almost five years now, and time suddenly passes so quickly now that I've become a parent. I remember when Cody (now 4 1\2) was a baby. I couldn't wait until he could talk, walk, feed himself, and potty train. Now that he's a pre-schooler, doing all the things I couldn't wait for him to do, I watch him growing up so fast and wonder...have I missed it? Have I been to busy to slow down, live in the moment, cherish the time? Before my baby Caden arrived (now six months old), I promised myself that I wouldn't rush his babyhood, and that I would take the time to enjoy him. But six months later, I realize that I've been doing the very thing I had tried not to do...RUSH.
He cried so much and wanted to be held so often...I wanted to put him down.
He wanted to be nursed so frequently...and sometimes I just pacified him.
He slept better when in bed with us...but I wanted him to be in his crib.
He wanted my attention...but I needed to clean, do laundry, check my email!
All of this really hit me hard tonight, and I send this out into cyberspace, asking the question, "Have I missed it once again?"

Here's a true confession: I've realized it takes discipline to stop and enjoy my children. It takes discipline on my part to put aside my so-called important tasks of the day and instead sit on the floor and put together a puzzle. I must make a concerted effort to say no to the laundry when my little one says, "Mommy, please come and read a story to me." "Mommy, can you rub my back and scratch my back just a little while longer?"

What if they grow up thinking I was too busy for them? That I busied myself with such trivial things and didn't STOP to give them my time and attention? This is my greatest fear. That my kids will say about me, "she was too busy."

I wonder if any of you reading can relate. Maybe it's just been yet another long, full day and I need a good night's rest. But I'll leave you fellow moms and dads with this thought: We never get this time back again. These precious little ones are only ours to hold for a moment. I, for one, am going to make more of an effort to pick them up and rock them "just a little while longer."